After deciding that 5 hours of sleep could no longer be used as an excuse to skip the gym (considering when I skipped, I didn't actually catch up on the sleep as I had promised) I had a really great workout today. I've decided to start doing crunches and planks. I'm always apprehensive to do ab exercises, but I've decided to see how it goes. I think in general I am more willing to try things because of my accomplishments so far in running. I figure, if I can build myself up to run for longer than I ever thought I could, than I can build myself up to do anything.
So anyway, my post-workout epiphany happened when I was looking in the mirror, checking out my hard work and thinking about summer, when I noticed my stomach was still there.
"Oh Hi, stomach! Why are you still here?" I asked.
Stomach didn't respond. Instead he looked apathetic.
Maybe it was the endorphins in me, but I then thought, "of course you're still here. You'll always be here."
Not in a depressing -'I'll never lose the weight way' but in realizing that this journey that I'm on...this daily, monthly, yearly struggle will never end. And I've come to acceptance with that. That even when I get to my goal weight, I still need to be responsible for myself and I need to take care of myself. So that my stomach doesn't look apathetic, but looks lively and savors life with me and not in angst. Because no matter what shape or size or texture, he'll always be there.
So bottom line is; maybe it's not fair that I have this body and this struggle, but I just have to trust myself enough to know that maybe it's all because I have an unfair amount of strength in me that is able to overcome anything.
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